CP: Yes, Hannah was the first person I saw talking on stage about taking antidepressants, which was something I had previously been reluctant to consider. So that’s why it’s very important to me to talk about it, because I know from personal experience that just hearing someone normalising it and talking about having depression and anxiety really helped me. I wouldn’t want to get rid of all the anxiety because part of that is the fast thinking, which can be great when I need a joke really fast, but it can be bad when I’m trying to forget something that happened two weeks ago at a bus stop where I had an interaction with the stranger that went weird, right?
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Fitz: Right. But how wonderful you were able to so prosper in comedy that you were able to get to the point where you had the confidence to drop an F-bomb on the Logies last Sunday when, to use your words, “Someone at Channel Seven f—ed me!” after the wrong award came up on your autocue!
CP: [Laughs.] Never in a million years, on my list of things to be anxious about, was that I would accuse someone from a network of “effing” me live on national television. But I’m not embarrassed. Like, you’d think I’d wake up and go, “Oh my God, no!” But I think it’s funny.
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Fitz: Was there any backlash at all?
CP: Not really, I mean, the autocue was incorrect, I just read what was in front of me.
Fitz: You read “Someone at Channel Seven effed me”? That’s your story, and you’re sticking to it?
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CP: [Laughs.] Yes, that’s right. Someone in the autocue department did that to me. I mean, I didn’t even know what that word means, Peter. Did I pronounce it correctly?
Fitz: You did!
CP: Good, good.
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Fitz: If you’d been nominated for a Gold Logie, would you be gutted to now have your initials tattooed on Larry Emdur’s butt?
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CP: Wasn’t Larry Emdur divine? I don’t really want to get nominated for the Gold Logie myself, because it would mean a long night, and being on edge the whole time right to the end. To be honest, after what happened this time, I don’t know that I’m going to be invited again. But of course, it was great hanging out with my best friend, Luke McGregor, who has very rudely moved to Newcastle.
Fitz: Speaking of Luke, what’s your least favourite thing about your great on-air partner and muse, your collaborator on many projects and co-star on the ABC show Rosehaven?
CP: He’s in the toilet a lot. The amount of time in my life I’ve spent waiting for Luke McGregor in the toilet is outrageous.
Fitz: I’d have thought you’d wait outside?
CP: Yes, yes, absolutely, please! But I do love his little quirks. I was once in his flat, and he was walking around with a spoon, tapping things. And I’m like, “What are you doing?” And I don’t know what he was wearing, but he was getting shocks from static electricity, so he was just walking around touching everything with a spoon, and I loved it because it was so very weird. My favourite thing about working with him is I can be completely myself and know he’s got my back, plus we laugh a stupid amount.
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Fitz: I know you’ve also worked with Charlie Pickering. He told me that the lowest point of his career was when he was doing stand-up in England, with just six people in the audience, and after four of them left, he knew he’d hit rock bottom when the last two – a pensioner couple – made their way out, and the old bloke paused just long enough to apologise, saying “We thought we were going to get a comedian.” What’s your own low point?
CP: Edinburgh Fringe Festival, early in my career. It was another full-circle moment. So the man I was dating who got me into comedy turned out to be a sex addict and sociopath who was cheating on me and was the basis for my first hour-long stand-up show, which I took to Edinburgh. I’d never been heckled before. And a very drunk Scottish man with a large group kept calling out “When do you get shat on?!” And I went, “I’m sorry, what?” He said “The person who gave us the flyer told us that in the show, you get shat on, and that’s what we’re into, and that’s what we’re here to see.” When it was over I walked offstage and lay on the floor of the dressing room, thinking, “What am I gonna do?” And because it was dark and I never saw their faces, for the rest of my time in Edinburgh, everywhere I turned, I was thinking, was it you?
Fitz: The great author Graham Greene maintained, “there is a splinter of ice in the heart of a writer”, such that even at his own mother’s funeral, he was thinking he could use it as great material. As a stand-up comedian, in your daily life is there a small sliver of ice in your own heart, where, whatever happens, there’s often still a tiny part of you that goes, “Geez, this is great comedy material?”
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CP: Of course. And not just for stand-up. I’ve been doing some drama writing, and sometimes something happens, a beautiful moment or a little detail where you just go, “Oh, that really encapsulates a lot in a small thing.”
Fitz: What about if it’s a moment which makes, say, your partner, look bad?
CP: Oh no, no, no. I use it. He knows what he’s signed up for. He likes the house [that the comedy helped buy.] He’s amazing. I’m worried about my toddler Eleanor because I do talk about her a bit, but it’s not really about her. It’s been about me becoming a mum, but I worry about when she’s old enough to go, “Please don’t use that.” I’m trying to be respectful but I do talk about her. The first joke was the day she was born we decided not to put photos of her on social media. It’s not for privacy reasons, it’s just because she’s ugly … Which of course she’s not. All babies are beautiful, they shouldn’t be, on paper they sound pretty ordinary. If I said “I’ve got a mate coming over, they’re bald, they don’t have any teeth and their arms and legs are the same length,” you’re not thinking “they sound cute!” Anyway, my comedy comes from my life and my experience. That’s what I talk about. So if you’re in my life, chances are you might end up in my comedy a little bit.
Fitz: And finally to Thank God You’re Here. Where did this genius concept come from? The whole idea of having different performers walk into a room to be suddenly immersed in a different scene and have to play along is just so clever. Did it come from the UK?
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CP: No! Australia’s own Working Dog, [Rob Sitch, Tom Gleisner and the team behind movie hits such as The Castle and The Dish and the brilliant ABC comedy, Frontline]. They invented it, and it’s been sold around the world. Usually I say no to hosting because I don’t want to be in charge. I don’t want to be responsible for it, be in the front and centre of the show. I like to just come on and go home. But when I was asked to host this, I said, “Of course. I love the show. I love these people. I’m a fan.” It’s filled with either comedy legends who I grew up watching, or my colleagues right now, or brilliant new up-and-comers that I’m so excited to help give a platform to.
Fitz: So tell me the truth. When we watch great shows, my presumption is that what we’re actually watching is the best of the 100 takes that they took for each scene. Is it like that with Thank God You’re Here, or at least the best of a couple of takes?
CP: No! It does not happen. It can’t be stopped. It can’t start again. It has to be real. But they’re sort of protected as well, if that makes sense. The incredible ensemble cast in the scene has the role to keep the scene moving along, [offering paths] to the performer who’s come into their world. They’re all incredibly talented improvisers who also have the difficult job to not laugh at all. [It’s all so varied though.] Some people go immediately into a character, while some people are just themselves. If you saw episode one last week, we had Sam Pang on, and he was hilarious, but he was very much Sam Pang, as much as we tried to make him into a different character. But there’s no redoing anything and there are 500 people in the audience who will tell you the same thing when we film it.
Fitz: So who else do you have on for the rest of the season?
CP: Well, I can’t really tell you as it’s very secretive, but it’s bigger stunts, more animals, more props, more cameos. It’s just your favourite comedians and your next favourite comedian coming through the blue door. It’s a good mix of people who were on last season and some people who’ve never done it before. I’ll be there wearing some ridiculously coloured suits, which I love. And we have different guests judge every week as well. A comedy legend comes in to judge. Episode one was Adam Hills, so it’s that kind of level of comedy royalty we have. It’s just a big, fun, silly time. There’s nothing else like it on TV.
Fitz: And your next big project?
CP: I really don’t know. It won’t be stand-up for a while. But Luke and I want to work on a new project together, we just don’t know what it is yet.
Fitz: And when you go home, is it like a relief to be back to home and hearth and toddler, or is it like being back to actual hard work?
CP: The first year I found very, very difficult. So everything since then just feels like so much more fun and wonderful. For me, I think I’m a better parent when I’m also doing some creative work for me. I think there needs to be a mix. Right now, the balance is lovely. And she’s a very silly, fun little kid who couldn’t care less about all the showbiz stuff that I do. My partner tried to get her to watch the Logies, but she’d rather watch the Wiggles.
Fitz: I’m with her. But don’t get me started! Thank you.
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